I have a confession, today is my birthday, and I’m 36!
Happy Birthday to ME!
Should I be worried that I’m still trying to figure out this dance we call life? Heck no! Do you know why? Well, I’ll tell you then, I’ve accepted that I’m absolutely and positively enough!! I can admit that turning 36 has led me to question just about everything in my life! It feels a bit scary, and for a split second I felt the green-eyed monster of inadequacy and loneliness poke their ugly head into my energy space, but I am not afraid of them because I’m at a point in my life where I accept that, where I am is exactly where I’m supposed to be. By popular standards I should have all my “BUSI-NESS” put together by now. You know, the husband, the house, the 2.5 kids, the dog (well, the dog part I have covered), the booming six figures + fantabulous business/career/job, etc. Newsflash! I don’t, and that’s absolutely fine. I’m in the process of figuring it all out, which is the best part, plus it’s my happy birthday.
I feel that this stage in my life is a meaningful coming back to the centre for me. Even though it has taken several years for me to get back here. It’s a divine blessing to have this time to remember who and what I am and to find the strength to choose the right path and to fulfill my intended destiny. I am so deeply in love with the freedom and calm that I now have in my life, no earthly words can truly convey the depth of what I feel. Okay, now let us talk about my coming of age or rather, my big 36th-year celebration. I’ve always loved my birthdays and sometimes end up celebrating them for an entire week or even weeks. In my defence, as an adult, I took on the responsibility to make up for not having any pleasant birthday memories and experiences as a child. This led me down the route of overcompensating for a perceived lack in my life. I was often disappointed on or around my birthdays and this created stress within me. I also felt I had to make up for missing out on things I felt everyone else had experienced, which I later learned was absolutely not. Needless to say, some of my closest peeps were secretly and not so secretly frustrated and annoyed with my over-ambitious attempts to reclaim my childhood birthday let downs — I’m so sorry guys, I hope you can understand and forgive my obsessiveness insanity.
It’s fair to point out that I was behaving strictly from a dream state, which translates to pure fear. Now that I’m considered a “real adult”, I guess I’m getting wiser with my age. How I felt as a child or as a youth, is no longer how I feel, nor is it who I am at this stage in my life, thank HEAVENS! Don’t get me wrong, I have zero regrets and truly would re-live all of it over again if I had to, but I also know that there’s no reality in looking backwards.
Life is well lived when we focus on the present moment, which prepares us for our future state of well-being. Click To Tweet
How often do you allow fear to control your life and the way you live it?
Do you get deathly afraid of what society, your friends, and family think of you and your life choices?
I have some good news for you! Stop and breathe because none of it really matters in the end. Their opinions don’t matter to your growth nor will it matter in the grand scheme of EVERY-thing. The only opinion that truly matters is, the one you hold of yourself and of your connection to the amazing energetic source that connects us all together. It doesn’t matter how you choose to define this amazing energy, what’s important is the relationship you cultivate with it and share with the world.
Almost two years ago, I walked out of what most would define as a budding career. I walked away because being in it drove me to my lowest. I found myself checked into a hospital twice in the span of one month. The scariest part was finding out that doctors were unable to find the cause for my symptoms and I just couldn’t seem to rid myself of the pain I was feeling. But it’s clear to me now, I had to go through it all because it was the only thing that would allow me to pay attention and stop speeding through life. Additionally, going through it allowed me to walk through my fear and embrace my calling to help people, “Do Better To Be Better.” What was happening to me was a mind, body, and soul breakdown/breakthrough because my body simply couldn’t take the abuse anymore and decided to give out completely — my body simply crashed. The whole experience taught me a great deal, but most importantly it taught me to ALWAYS listen to that annoying nudging feeling we get in our gut. How often do you ignore that subtle feeling/voice that is your internal guidance system? That subtle feeling/voice is our connection to our Source Power. It’s not an accident that we all have this amazing ability. When we ignore it, we end up in an uncomfortable and often painful situation the feeling/voice was trying to save us from.
I find that when we ignore this subtle voice, it’s like we’re choosing to walk our little selves into the path of unhappiness, pain, or disappointments, so that’s what we get more of. When we listen, we find that we always end up in a better feeling place than the one we were in before. It’s insane that we often choose the path that leads to unhappiness instead of the one that leads to joy. While I was going through everything, I maintained a strong external front. I held on really tight to that natural joy I always had living inside me. I did this so well that no one really knew the real extent of what I was going through. Now because I did this, at times I felt low, inadequate and alone. This is what happens when we forget that we’re more than our humanness – we’re spiritual beings, living and having this awesome learning experience as humans. This simply means that we shouldn’t take life so seriously and we sure as heck shouldn’t take it for granted that we need to learn how to love ourselves and each other more.
Until we realize that we can choose differently to feel good all the time, we will always be in a state of madness and misery. We need to stop attaching ourselves to the insignificant stories and allowing them to take hold of our life. We also need to stop spinning them into our own unhealthy and unhappy feature films. Here’s a great example of a madness induced story we sometimes feel the need to take part in. Do you know the one where we compare ourselves with our peers? Compare what they’ve done, are doing and have accomplished. Why do we do this? It never makes us feel good about ourselves and it’s sure as heck not a healthy way to live. I have never bought into any school of thought that said, competition was something healthy. When we fixate ourselves on what someone else is doing with their own lives, it can and always will bring us into a state of misery. By doing this, we are measuring ourselves up against someone else and we are telling the universe that we are less than what we are, and we don’t want to honour our journey – we want someone else’s because ours isn’t good enough. In fact, we should never compare ourselves because we are ALL the same at our core. We are all from the same source of love and goodness.
I believe we are confused about how to coexist together here on earth. The challenge is to figure out our own unique individual journeys. This way, we can learn the lesson we came here to be taught all while living in harmony with each other.
The media we choose to direct our attention to take in information, are not providing much help to us to gain a better handle and understanding around our current state of madness. Instead, they’re in part aiding and abiding in the dysfunction. It’s the breathing ground for the harsh judgements we place on ourselves and everyone else in the world. With social media being one of the main culprits — this form of communication is providing more pain than pleasure (People put out the information they want us to see and believe about their lives. Oftentimes, that information it’s the truth of how they are living in their “real” life). Especially for those who are not emotionally equipped to play in this arena. Too many people with low self-esteem and self-love issues use it to boost their egos, but come to find out that it actually does the opposite. So, it’s up to us, light workers, healers and teachers to enlighten and empower them with positive, uplifting and inspiring content and messaging to awaken their souls to a better way of be-ing.
I too am no stranger to this harsh form of self-judgement, imposed on us by social media. I felt the need over the years to work really hard to prove to those around me that I was doing A-OKAY, even though at times I wasn’t (Newsflash! That’s the yin-yang of life sometimes – ups and downs). At the same time, I was fighting an internal battle to get to a place where I felt balanced and at peace again. I knew that I truly needed to feel OK within to authentically help struggling individuals who were also dealing with their own challenges. So, I continued to work really hard to overcome my challenging struggles. Just like you, I’ve overcome a lot over the years and I’m quite certain I will still be overcoming things until the day I die – that’s just how life works.
New things and challenges will come up to test our strength along the way, so I keep this motto in my mind often, “Slow and steady I’ll win my race” and then, I give myself permission to go deep within. Once I do that, I’m able to analyze my thinking and behavioural patterns. This holding the space practice gives me a clear understanding of what I need to focus my attention on to “Do Better to Be Better”. I also give myself the freedom to open up and be brutally honest about my feelings, why I act in a certain way and what I can do in my present moment/s to make sure my outcomes are different from where I’m coming from. If you are feeling alone because you’re single, don’t! Being single does NOT mean that you’re alone. Loneliness comes from a belief that’s based on fear. Fear loves to sneak into our mental space when we’re not paying attention to the right things. We generally cling to the feeling of loneliness when we listen to what society tells us to think, feel or do to belong. After all, how can you be alone when the energetic source of all things is everywhere?
ॐ Be content with the stage of your life you’re in — It’s exactly where you’re meant to be.
ॐ Do not allow fear to govern your life and the choices you need to make to bring joy into your life.
ॐ Past traumas and disappointments are blessings, despite how you feel while going through them.
ॐ Always analyze your thinking and behavioural patterns so that you can “Do Better To Be Better”.
Remember, as you are, YOU ARE absolutely Enough!
So, on my special birthday – my simple message to you is: love all your scars, cherish your journey and live your life from a place of pure love ALL the time. There is no greater joy than the one you will experience when you live your life in this way.
You are here to enhance the world with your light, love, and joy, so go out and brighten someone’s world today and every day after.
With a heart full of love and tons of gratitude!
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