There are 3 major happiness myths I want you to immediately stop believing!
Believing that you will be happy when you get X, Y or Z, the job you’ve always wanted, the relationship you have been dreaming of in your mind, or holding onto the idea that you’ll be happy when you get rich and famous.
Research shows that when we get these things, we do become happier but for how long? The novelty of getting that new thing doesn’t last and sometimes after we get that thing, we realize that it’s not making us as happy as we had hoped it would.
We believe that not having something will make us unhappy forever. So, when really big life changing disappointments happen to us, we’re going to stay unhappy forever, eg. if the love of our life leaves us, if a family member or a spouse dies, if a spouse divorce us, if the plans we had mapped out for our lives don’t work out the way we thought they would.
Believing that you can only be happy if you’re in a romantic relationship is, one of the biggest myths about being happy in and of itself. Research shows that single people are happier than attached people. They are much happier than married people, but married people are much happier than divorced, separated, or widowed people. One of the most famous research studies on happiness in marriages shows that in marriages, the happiness boost only last for about 2 years. When I read this i was like, “Say what to the what?!?!”. But what they say happens after the earth shattering world wind of happiness boost dies off, those feelings turn into what is called “companionate love”, which is the feeling of deep friendship and loyalty. According to research, overall, single people are the happiest out of these groups because they have longer and more meaningful friendships, they find meaning and purpose in the work they do which includes their hobbies, making them happier people overall.
The problem here is, society has repeatedly sold us the idea that we should look for our happiness in things outside of ourselves. They tell us that when we get that shiny new thing, we should focus on how it makes us feel, in other words, we lose the feeling of excitement of owning it. The truth is, that excitement or passion that comes with that new thing will die off after some time of having it and you will move into a state that’s called Hedonic Adaptation. Hedonic Adaptation happens when we become familiar with and get used to that certain thing – causing us to stop giving sufficient attention to it, which leads to taking that thing for granted. This could be a relationship or a job that’s painful or pleasurable. Here’s a great example of this; you know when you get an absolutely gorgeous hand bag or a stunning and highly coveted expensive watch? You know that one you’ve been eyeing for some time. The one you just can’t seem to stop thinking about and every week you go back into the store to look at it, then finally you get this new shiny thing. You instantly start to use this thing, you take it out to show it off as much as you can. But here’s the thing, about the 3rd or 4th time into wearing or carrying this thing, you start to lose appreciation of having it, and the excitement of having it also diminishes. That’s what Hedonic Adaptation is. Often times when we feel like this, we become dissatisfied with the relationship, job or thing because the high of having either is no longer exciting – the excitement and the newness of it has worn out so we start believing that there’s something wrong with us, the relationship or the thing.
If by now you’re asking the question, how do I then find happiness and how do I keep it in my life forever? Then you’ll like what I’m going to say next. There are many ways to become and keep a happy state in your life, but there’s nothing you can do to stay happy for the rest of your life without putting in some dedicated daily work. So if you meditate, if you enjoy going to the gym, if you enjoy reading a book, if you enjoy hanging out with your loved ones etc., if any of these make you happy then you MUST find a way to merge them into your life on a day-to-day basis. Also, keep in mind that research shows that people who have a strong social support system are happier than those who don’t.
And there you have it my friends, the three major myths you should immediately stop believing about happiness so you can start to do the things that will bring more happiness into your life.
Thank you for stopping by to read, watch and share your attention and with me. I am deeply grateful to you all. If you found this post helpful, please leave a comment in the comment section below and share it with your network of amazing people.
Also, share this with your tribe and love ones. This may be just the right message they need to hear today to start creating and living a healthy, wealthy and happy Life!
Never forget that you’re here to enhance the world with your light and love, so go out and brighten someone’s world today.
With a heart full of love and tons of gratitude!